WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE – Nightlife Safety Tips by Jack Zero

In light of rising larceny and assaults where I work in the Meatpacking District, I’ve decided to throw together a few tips that may keep you and your friends safe when visiting nightclubs or other night spots.

Keep in mind that anything you read on the internet should never be taken as gospel. Always do further research, especially when it comes to your safety.

1. SURVIVING THE “WILD”

Easy one. Travel in packs. If you split up, at least keep in pairs. Predators are looking for a weak link. You should know this one already. You’re lucky there’s no lions around.

2. KEEP YOUR CLAWS OUT

When traversing the street to and from your vehicle, keep any self defense items within reach. This means checking their availability before getting out of the car, and then again before stepping out of the club. If you don’t think you can manage this due to intoxication, see tip 4.

3. CHECK THE NEST

Before leaving your vehicle behind to walk to the club, check the area for people loitering, acting suspiciously or walking without purpose. Pay attention to who is paying attention to you. If you don’t feel safe, don’t leave the vehicle.

Often either extreme is indicative of a possible predator… Either watching you too closely, or ignoring you no matter how long you look… Gauge them. Learn to trust your instincts.

4. POISON AND PREY

Barring an extreme sensitivity to alcohol, the body can process:
1oz(1 shot) of alcohol/per hr
4oz of wine/per hr
12 oz of beer/per hr

Now while this is true, I highly doubt many people will be closely regimenting their alcohol intake (with the added factor of mixing tinctures), so I just want to state it as flat as possible. If you are exceeding limits, be aware that you are basically painting a neon sign that you are an easy target.

If you find that you repeatedly go over your limit to the point of loss of control, or loss of property, you may consider designating a sober friend to accompany you. Or you can pay or bribe them. Money talks.

5. HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF

If you absolutely, positively HAVE TO end up going home alone with a perfect stranger, PLEASE for the love of God, Poseidon, Eminem or whoever you worship… Ask the stranger to take out their wallet, get out the iPhone I know you own, and snap a pic of their state issued ID. Then send it to two friends. They had to have one to get into the club, and if they won’t let you… Well, that’s pretty suspect in itself.

6. PREY AND POISON 2

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,

(GASP)

ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,

(*checks watch*)

ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever…

…EVER. For any reason. Leave your drink unattended. In a crowded club.

Come on.

7. MIND THE HYENAS

Pickpockets often work in groups. If you encounter a group of people that are being too friendly in an overcrowded club, remain cordial but make a mental note of where your things are. Keep your purse hanging high and in the front of you where you have at least a peripheral view of it.

Basically don’t have your purse anywhere someones hands might fall accidentally. That is the cover of a pickpocket. They will dance up, grind on you and take advantage of the “crowd desensitization” that occurs when stumbling senseless through a crowded group of people. You barely feel the bumps, and then someone can just reach in and grab your phone or wallet.

Realistically, the best place to keep a purse hanging is near an erogenous zone. The body is tuned to snap awake and aware when these places are touched no matter the level of crowd desensitization. Ergo, the best place is to carry the bag by the chest.

A pickpocket will more often go for a phone than a wallet. It’s easier to offload electronics than bank cards.

Also, a group of pickpockets will likely use a system, more organic and improvisational than rigid and regimented. The most common systems will have the Distraction (whoever ends up dancing with you or talking to you) and the Actor (the pickpocket). Sometimes they will even have the Shield (the one who backs up against you while you’re distracted and offers cover for the Actor to reach in your bag.) When they’ve successfully made the grab, the next inevitable step is the cold shoulder, or one of them will overtly do something scummy and drive out the plucked prey (i.e. you).

This system is definitely still in use with pickpocket groups, as I was able to use this knowledge to isolate, identify, and expel a group of pickpockets at my place of work last week. Keep in mind, the police cannot make an arrest if the victim leaves the premises or will not identify her pickpocket. The only way you get your stuff back is if you stay and follow through.

Clubs cannot search their patrons, but they can filter them in the future if you ID someone as a thief and they can track a pattern.

Also, don’t be afraid to test club security upon arrival by asking questions about how they run the club, where the coat check is, and who watches the bags. If they are vague about the answers, you may either want to keep a tighter watch on your stuff or find another night spot altogether. The more business they lose, the more they’ll be scrambling to find out how to keep you there.

Yelling and complaining WILL NOT make them hold their staff accountable IF YOU CONTINUE TO PUT MONEY IN THEIR POCKET.

8: GUARD YOUR FLANK

I don’t bare my nuts in a fight. Don’t bare your cash or electronics in a turbid environment filled with possible thieves.

When paying or counting money, look around for predators. When using your phone or securing a purse, put your back to a wall and again, take a look around.

The key here is AWARENESS.

9. SNAKE SPOTTING

Unless you’re looking for the type for your own reasons (which is a preference), a lot of clubs are teeming to the brim with sociopaths. If you’re looking to go to a club to meet someone nice and find something lasting, my first advice to you is:

No.

But, if you must, here’s a shortlist of the attributes of a sociopath:

— They have a superficial charm. They are smooth and engaging-never shy nor self-conscious.
— They have a super-inflated view of their own self-worth. They are arrogant.
— They are prone to boredom and have an excessive need for stimulation.
— They are pathological liars. They are clever and deceitful in their lies.
— They are manipulative and will defraud and cheat others for their own benefit.
— They cannot always control their behavior. They will sometimes slip and express brief moments of annoyance, anger, or abuse.
— They are sexually promiscuous and seek multiple sexual partners.
— They have no realistic, long-term goals. They lack direction.
— They are impulsive and unpredictable.
— They do not accept responsibility for their actions. There is always an excuse. ***

Obviously you can’t condemn someone for displaying one or two of these traits in a tense moment, but if you’re seeing 3 or more on a regular basis (and especially in a setting like a club, where it is pretty easy to keep ones neurosis under wraps for the few hours you’re there), you should question it.
Pay attention to how your “crush” interacts with people other than you. Remember that alcohol can impair judgement and ramps up libido. Consider your motivation. Compare what you want and what you see. Make an adult decision. If you find that you cannot, remove yourself from the situation. Rather to be indecisive and alone for the night, than… any “horror story” alternative to that.
Yeah, You only live once, but one stupid decision and you can suffer forever. And it may not just be you suffering.
Remember: If you are lonely, and you absolutely need someone, pick a person. Not someone pretending to be one.
10. EYE OF THE TIGER
Above all. AWARENESS. Train yourself to be AWARE. A good habit is formed in 21 days.
Pay attention to your surroundings in your everyday life. The people, the patterns, everything.
The night club life is the same as the everyday life. Same world. Same people. There are no “safe zones”.
There is beauty in this world, but it is not free. In order to sustain those beautiful things, we must guard ourselves and those we love.
I know it’s hard nowadays to sift through the fear mongering of articles similar to this one, but try this:
Put some time aside to think about your fears. Lay them all out on the table, write them down, and really consider what you do and don’t have control over.
After that, decide what to do if your fears come true.
Do that and you’re on the path. Follow the path and soon you’ll know more, and then your friends can learn from you and be safer. And that’s how we better this world.
And right there, you’ve taken the Initiative. That’s what we mean by Trust Yourself.
It’s already in you.

***http://voices.yahoo.com/how-identify-sociopath-1891564.html?cat=72

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