Since this is still the beginning of the New Year, let’s talk about starting new habits to keep you safer. Each new habit only takes 21 days to establish, so in February, these should feel more like knee-jerk responses, and less like something you have to consciously think about doing. Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep. Think of these as habits, and see them in your mind as actions you already take; this will make them that much easier to establish.
And if you need any encouragement, just ask! That’s what I’m here for.
Safer Habits for 2013
1. When you wake up, and throughout your day, tell yourself that even if you can’t control what might happen to you, you are in control of your choices, and that you’ll make safer, smarter choices.
2. Stretch and breathe. Without flexibility, you are more prone to injury and cannot react as quickly. Additionally, how you breathe is how you live.
3. When you grab your things to head out the door, make sure you pack a whistle, pepper spray, and –where legal- a stun device. Know how to use them and know your local ordinances concerning these objects. Keep them easily accessible.
4. Before you step outside your door, remind yourself:
It could happen to me.
It could happen today.
If it does, I’ll know what to do,
and I’ll do it.
Make sure you’ll know what to do. If you don’t, now is the time to enroll in (at least) a basic self-defense class. You can also catch my three-part series on Basic Self-Defense on the Initiative’s TRIBE radio show archives:
5. Practice seeing everything around you. Awareness can and does save lives. Try not to let anyone sneak up on you.
6. Practice good positioning – in all things. Is it safer to walk on that side of the street? Is it smarter to tailgate? Is it wiser to wait until the last minute to take care of business?
The most important habits to establish are numbers 5 and 6. Without awareness and good positioning, all of your other new habits won’t make a difference.
Have a safer New Year, and let me know how these work for you!
At least once a week I’m talking about ways to prevent an attack, or how to stop a fight. I blog, I teach, and most recently, I co-host a radio show that talks a great deal about handling a fight.
But the real fight, the one I’m tackling every day, is fighting the desire to scream every time I see someone putting their own safety or property at risk in public places.
I’ve gone from face-palming to head-desking.
I’ve seen people on their cell phones while driving, walking in dangerous areas while “watching” their children. I’ve seen men and women sitting and reading in cars with their windows down and their doors unlocked. I’ve seen women texting at stop signs at night in high-crime areas. I’ve seen people counting their money in public. And mostly, I’ve seen people walking around, head down, completely unaware of their surroundings.
I got into this RLSH community because I had this unstoppable desire to help others, especially those who couldn’t help themselves.
I’ve tried to spread a good word here and there in the hopes that someone would pass the info on, and we’d all be a little safer and sounder. I get too worked up whenever I see someone behaving in a way that tempts nearby predators and fate. I keep trying to tell myself that we can’t help everyone, some people aren’t ready to hear, it’s survival of the fittest, etc., but I just don’t believe that yet.
Our lessons have already proven themselves invaluable by helping several people stay safer from harm than they would’ve been without the classes; our readers have shared how they’ve begun changing their habits. You think I’d be satisfied with this. I’m not.
I still hear about friends of friends who’ve been raped or injured and I wonder if those incidents could’ve been avoided with just a bit more knowledge and training.
I’m trying to focus on the good we’ve already done, but it’s hard to feel satisfied when there’s still so much bad that we read about in the news.
Maybe I’ll never feel satisfied. Maybe I’m not supposed to.
Maybe I’ve got work to do.
Here’s hoping 2013 is a safer, healthier and happier year for everyone!
Check out all of The Initiative’s TRIBE Radio Show archived shows at:
We’ve been taught to kill. By we, I mean NightBug and myself. Hell, most of our family and our closest friends have all been taught the same things, and I don’t mean the type of killing that involves joysticks and Playstations. I’m talking, rip-your-throat-out or shoot-you-with-my-gun-type of killing.
The result of 20+ years’ worth of gun, boxing, self-defense and security courses (including police courses, and soon, military and CIA courses) have resulted in a constant state of awareness that’s hard to shake, and is sometimes very draining at the end of the day. When your social circle is filled with students and teachers, it becomes part of your every-day thinking. When you pick up a cool-looking walking stick along the river bed, and find your mind wandering through a couple of staff katas while you think of ways to use the stick as a weapon, it’s hard to focus on the beauty of the moment.
Because of our training, we always pick our seats strategically. We always have the eyes on a swivel. In crowded places, we actually kiss each other with our eyes open in order to watch each other’s backs. (In private places, it’s a whole ‘nother story. ) Sorry, TMI. The point is, this stuff is all second nature, muscle memory to us.
That’s not necessarily a good thing. While I appreciate the knowledge and enjoy learning new ways to protect myself (obviously, if I’m always seeking new courses), I understand that there’s infinitely more that I don’t know, and that when we aren’t learning, we’re stagnating. I’m also learning that there are many habits that I must unlearn in order to move forward as a peacekeeper.
I teach my students to run if they can. If they can’t, or if they’ve tried, I teach them to stop the fight. STOP the fight, as quickly as possible. More importantly, I teach them to stay aware, to avoid fights in the first place. I teach them what I was taught: A violent act could happen to me, it could happen today, and if it does, I am ready and I will act upon it. The graveyards and hospitals are filled with people who didn’t believe it could happen to them.
What I’ve been learning is just how far some people will go while claiming self-defense. The Trayvon Martin case is a prime example of this. The defendant in this case did not understand…well, he didn’t understand much more than the fact that he needed to do something about the unchecked anger that he harbored. He had to get the “criminal” before he committed the crime. He didn’t know when to stop; he went too far, and will probably spend most of his life in jail. He got the better end of the bargain.
What I’m currently teaching and emphasizing to my students is the need to know when to STOP, the need to control their actions, and the need to know the local laws. I don’t want any of them to cross the line from self-defense into assault and battery. Before they teach their muscles to automatically launch into KILL!-mode, I’d rather they viewed the attacker as a human -regardless of how animal-like the attacker’s actions might be- who just needs to be stopped, and nothing more. The manner in which they stop them must be commensurate with the crime being attempted.
With all due respect to my many teachers, this killing machine is unlearning the many ways in which to take a life, and replacing them (whenever possible) with ways to simply stop one person from bringing harm to another.
The first thing I tell my students is that you’re only as good as your basics. All of the training, all of the time that you spend learning self-defense will be useless if your basics aren’t strong. That kick you tried to deliver? Worthless if you break your toes. That takedown you tried to execute? Ineffective if you lose your balance.
Practice doesn’t make perfect. Proper practice makes perfect.
The basic for this first lesson is Awareness. This is one of the most important principles to learn and one of the easiest to turn into a powerful habit.
Why is awareness so important? Even if I could plug your brain into the Matrix and instantly have you master five differently styles of self-defense, that knowledge would be worthless without the use of a higher level of awareness.
I won’t go into statistics about your chances of becoming a victim of violent crime. I don’t need to tell you about the people who could’ve survived an attack by simply being aware of it before it happened, nor will I recount the stories of people who were killed because they simply went into catatonic shock and couldn’t respond or escape. I’ll assume that, because you’re reading this, you’ve already acknowledged the need do something -anything- when confronted with an attacker. I’ll also assume that you want to make “doing something” a knee-jerk response to violent confrontations. Good for you! You’re already better off than 9 out of 10 people around you.
Let’s take that further, shall we? Let’s make you “surprise-proof.”
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As you can see from the video above, none of those people featured had any awareness of what was going on around them. Let me ask you this: If this were a setting in nature (let’s use the Serengeti), and you were a lion in search of prey, who would be your first dinner choice- the strong gazelle that sees you and runs quickly away, or the unaware gazelle with its head down? Right.
Most bad guys are looking for the easy victim. Unfortunately, about 90% of society makes it easy for the bad guy. To see the extent of this, pick a spot on a busy street and watch people go by. Maybe one out of ten people will notice you watching them. The other nine will have their minds and their attention elsewhere. Easy targets.
On the other hand, usually just your acknowledgement that someone is watching you is enough to make them turn their target elsewhere.
Awareness must not be confused with paranoia or fear. Awareness is about using your senses fully and being completely in the moment. Rather than sticking your head in the sand and thinking that it couldn’t or won’t happen to you, or fearing that it might, teach yourself to be more aware of everything around you. Awareness repels violence, fear attracts it.
One of my favorite Sifus told me, “Make it a point to never let anyone sneak up on you. Keep track of it, and see if you can go an entire month without anyone being able to surprise you.”
This may sound like a simple concept. That’s intentional. Self-defense isn’t about flourish or showboating; dramatic movements are best left to the movies, and to the actors who can pull them off. In reality, most fights end within a few seconds, and they’re usually far from artistic. These simple concepts are often the difference between surviving an attack, and becoming another victim.
Speaking of reality, this would be a good time for a few disclaimers and facts.
-Martial arts are for defense only. Anything you may learn from this section of STAND is intended to be used for self-defense only, and only AS A LAST RESORT.
-When facing someone with the present ability and intent to harm you, do not hesitate to use deadly force. No one has the right to harm you.
-Deadly force is only to be used to stop a fight. Once the fight has stopped, excessive force is illegal and unnecessary.
For this month, I would ask that you pay attention to your surroundings. Stop driving, stop walking, and then finish texting. See what’s down the street while you’re walking with friends. Look to see if there’s anything behind those bushes, or around that corner. Check to see if there’s anyone near or under your car before approaching it in an empty parking lot. Once you open the door, check to see if anyone’s in it. You’ll find that this heightened sense of awareness is empowering. Pair this with good positioning (staying on the safer side of the street, keeping to more crowded areas, avoiding dangerous situations, etc.) and you’ve already won half the battle.
But positioning is the topic of next month’s basic training, dear reader, so I’ll leave you with this:
Practicing higher awareness is tantamount to a daily sparring session toward achieving effective self-defense principles. In the words of Miyamoto Musashi,
Since this is still the beginning of the New Year, let’s talk about starting new habits to keep you safer. Each new habit only takes 21 days to establish, so in February, these should feel more like knee-jerk responses, and less like something you have to consciously think about doing. Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep. Think of these as habits, and see them in your mind as actions you already take; this will make them that much easier to establish. 
